Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages
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Page: 6 of 30
There are two types of people in the world. Please stay away from both of them.
I get all the cardio I need by digging my own grave.
If I wanted human interaction i'd take my headphones off during this date.
I graduated at the top of my anger management class
Please pray for all the people at my last job. They're fine but they still work there
The fatter the man, the more Hawaiian the shirt.
You can't tell me what to do; you're not my demons.
I now have permanent vision loss due to excessive eye-rolling at stupid idiots.
I wish I could match my dog's excitement to go outside.
As I get older and I remember all the people I've lost along the way I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me
Game of Thrones, at its core, has always been a show about how much it sucks to be a horse
I'm we had to wait 3 years for a new movie to be released on VHS years old.
I think my cat is a Scientologist.
Babies are participation trophies for men.
I just keep telling myself you guys don't have sex either.
My diet can be best described as carb loading for a marathon I'll never run.
That concludes the Time Travelers Club meeting, see you all last month.
If I fell and hit my head really hard maybe I'll go see the new Baywatch movie.
Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
It's never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".
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