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JOser Funny Status Messages
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Page: 5 of 40
You think not drinking sucks? Try being the only sober guy in a 3am game of Texas Hold 'Em!
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07-11-2010 11:52 by
Joser
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Whoever's in charge of telling old men when they have weird, long hairs growing out of their eyebrows/ears should be fired.
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07-11-2010 11:52 by
Joser
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I can't wait till my son is old enough for me to hide a dirty magazine under his mattress for his mom to find.
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07-11-2010 11:52 by
Joser
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"I'm not drunk!" is an argument only very drunk people think they can win
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07-11-2010 11:51 by
Joser
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Bad news: pulled a muscle. Good news: implied presence of muscle.
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07-11-2010 11:50 by
Joser
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Can someone please check on Cleveland? I'm concerned because they've been in the bathroom a long time.
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07-10-2010 17:32 by
Joser
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The most tedious part of being an Afghani phone sex operator is describing what I'm wearing.
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07-10-2010 17:31 by
Joser
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Why's Lil Wayne still in Jail? Someone should work on breaking him out. Call T-Pain, I hear he has a boat.
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07-10-2010 17:31 by
Joser
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Who's the genius that gave the police sirens?
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07-10-2010 17:29 by
Joser
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Happiness is spelled C-A-S-H
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07-10-2010 17:29 by
Joser
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you shouldn't listen to other people's foolishness. You should listen to mine.
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07-09-2010 19:37 by
Joser
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the only horoscope you will ever need goes like this: Planets are doing stuff, so it's a good day to do stuff but be prepared in case bad stuff happens.
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07-09-2010 19:37 by
Joser
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How many crap loads are there in a sh*t ton again? cuz that's exactly how Cleveland feels like right now...
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07-09-2010 16:54 by
Joser
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FACEBOOK ALERT: Lebron James is now in a relationship with Lebron James.
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07-09-2010 16:47 by
Joser
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I just LeBron Jamesed my pants. Is that a thing yet?
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07-09-2010 16:46 by
Joser
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BREAKING NEWS: Miami Heat joins LeBron James.
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07-09-2010 16:45 by
Joser
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It feels good not to have any feelings.
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07-08-2010 19:13 by
Joser
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Admit nothing, deny everything and make counter-accusations.
59
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07-08-2010 18:57 by
Joser
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It is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." I'm talking to you Twi-hards & Beliebers.
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07-08-2010 18:57 by
Joser
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I don't take compliments well. Or criticism. You know what, just don't talk to me.
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07-08-2010 18:56 by
Joser
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