Daheavy1 Funny Status Messages

   I wonder if fat drug dealers sell diet coke...?

   How come when people fill out applications, under "Emergency Contact," nobody ever puts "911"?

   I wonder if lining up beers in my refrigerator will ever stop being exciting

   In hell, you have to find the start to scotch tape over and over

   Going to dress up as Maury Povich for Halloween and visit the hospital delivery room telling the guy he is not the father.

   it rude to give a copy of photoshop at a baby shower? It's just that I know what both parents look like they're gonna need it

   Any post that doesn't have to do with Dumbo is simply irrelephant

   I wonder if Busta Rhymes texts with no spaces...

   Red cups..helping the youth get their buzz on for over 30 years