Baddie Funny Status Messages

   Baby, Baby, Baby, NOOOOOOOO! - Bieber's first night in jail

   If you can't be with the one you love, tolerate the one you're with.

   The great thing about hanging up on someone is you can no longer hear them talking.

   Blacking out is the ultimate in relaxation.

   I wonder what it’s like to sleep with a woman who has standards.

   My favorite part of the bible is the part where that old guy is like "We're gonna need a bigger boat"

   I used to have an attitude problem. I broke up with her about a year ago.

   I'm not a stalker; but you should wipe from front to back.

   Tip of the day: Don't piss off anyone who has unlimited access to your toothbrush.

   Her phone display is brighter than her future.

   Work is really getting in the way of me going home and drinking wine in my underwear.

   A nal – Because some women understand a week is too long for a man to wait.

   Every time it hurts when I pee I think of you. - coming up with romantic valentine's day message is hard you guys.

   Give a white girl a fish and she'll freak out because fish are gross. Teach a white girl to fish and she'll be like "but I want Starbucks"

   All cursive neck tattoos should just say ‘child support.

   Relationship status: everything sounds like "marry me" through duct tape

   Are Tyler Perry movies some kind of punishment for slavery?

   A girl in yoga pants not talking on the phone. Hope she's ok.

   I hate it when people call me sexist. Some of my closest friends belong in the kitchen.

   Don't love someone so much that you stop watching p 0rn!