joser Funny Status Messages
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MOTORISTS: When going through a speed camera, flash your lights twice
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04-22-2010 19:27 by Joser
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No man goes before his time....... Unless the boss leaves early...
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04-22-2010 19:19 by Joser
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Everybody hates me because I'm so universally well-liked...
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04-22-2010 19:19 by Joser
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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
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04-22-2010 18:20 by Joser
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has been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog...
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04-22-2010 18:14 by Joser
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I'm no volcanologist but has anyone tried throwing in a few virgins?
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04-22-2010 18:12 by Joser
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The good news is, we destroyed the Ring. The bad news is, we disrupted a hemisphere's worth of air travel and two dozen national economies... our badd...
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04-22-2010 18:10 by Joser
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Some people's noses and feet are built backwards. Their feet smell and their noses run.
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04-22-2010 18:09 by Joser
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found out they sell Universal Remotes at Wal*Mart... I cant believe power like that is available to just anyone! Crazy!
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04-22-2010 17:57 by Joser
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used the search term "the perfect job for me" on google and it laughed at me...
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04-22-2010 17:53 by Joser
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Work like you don't have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at
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04-22-2010 17:37 by Joser
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Reminder: Buy low and sell high... Unless it's Pot... Then you're buying and selling high...
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04-22-2010 17:36 by Joser
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Stop everything you're doing... Think about me... You're welcome...
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04-22-2010 17:36 by Joser
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Conserve water on earth day, drink more beer....
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04-22-2010 13:30 by Joser
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I'd love to be a lifeguard at the gene pool. I'd let a few of them drown.
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04-22-2010 09:13 by Joser
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The sign outside the Burger King that says Now Hiring Closers is obviously spelled with a silent C.
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04-22-2010 09:07 by Joser
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Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
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04-22-2010 09:06 by Joser
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Relax. If you didn't want me knocking it over, why the hell did you write "tip jar" on it? Just for that, I'm taking my 15 cents back...
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04-22-2010 09:05 by Joser
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I know what Cinco de Mayo is, I just don't know when it is.
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04-21-2010 13:52 by Joser
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Evidently that good Samaritan bullsh*t doesn't apply when you help an old lady cross the street on the hood of your car.
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04-20-2010 23:46 by Joser
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