JOser Funny Status Messages

   If you're one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you... dumn*ss...

   Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised.

   I'm so confused, I thought the Crip Walk was a marathon for gang members

   I am embarrassed for my co-workers. I am the only person in the building who remembered to wear a toga today.

   This isn't quite what I wanted to be when I grew up, but it was the best I could do on such short notice.

   Comparing Sarah Jessica Parker to a horse is insulting and lame. Horses are majestic, beautiful creatures unworthy of your contempt

   Back before clocks and calendars I bet people used wonder why one day out of seven always sucked

   The guy driving in front of me is totally following me...

   Justin Bieber should be treated like AM radio and nobody should ever listen to them...

   Dear Patron, now that you helped me gain my confidence, can you please help me find my car?

   My new study method for finals is put a question on the outside of a beer bottle and the answer at the bottom

   Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other coworkers" and I circled "absolutely false"?

   The guy driving in front of me is totally following me

   When you put 'aspiring' in front of your chosen profession. What I hear is: I'm unemployed.

   I'm so confused, I thought the Crip Walk was a marathon for gang members

   I have a six pack which I wanna show off at the beach this summer it was too blady long in the fridge.

   working, and having short Facebook breaks... but is now on Facebook with short work breaks... much more fun!

   My gf says I never listen to her (or something like that)

   tried to join a Tourette's support group but they told me to piss off.

   If this soo called God dwells inside of us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting.