doc noland Funny Status Messages

   "I don't want anyone to know I'm the one who said this" - Anonymous

   Hey girl, did it hurt when you fell from heaven after Lucifer's rebellion?

   It's fascinating that a creature can begin as a caterpillar and end as a stepped-on caterpillar

   Girls get so weird when you ask them to make a wittle baby in their tum tum... still single

   Ugh, this girl who woke up in my bed is SO needy. She's all "Who are you?" "What'd you put in my drink?"

   Most surprising thing about yesterday's 16-hour NBA talks: It was only 2 hours of talks, and 14 hours of "Y'all Ready for This?

   Correct me if I am wrong but if your white, is it no longer cool to get beads braided into your pubic hair?

   Glad Doc Brown no longer needs plutonium for his flux capacitor, ‘cause the Libyans are to busy having a party.

   RIP Khaddafi. Also, RIP Qaddafi. And let us not forget: RIP Ghaddafi. And just to be safe, RIP Caddaphee.

   Appropriately, Gaddaffi was killed by a rebel fighter standing in the sunroof of a VW van.

   Ugh stupid cold weather totally stole my idea to get a lot of attention today.

   The saddest part in The Lion King 3D is that part when I can't afford a movie ticket at 27 years old.

   I believe it was a German who said "an empty anus makes the most sound..."

   Great, I was already depressed and and alone, and now. just before bed my toothpaste had to fall off of my toothbrush.... still single

   "A cook to spoon me, a crossing guard to hold my hand and a big girl to eat the food off my plate as well as hers", Lyrics so far to my hit single, "Wife Hunting"... still single

   So what if you have a boyfriend! You don't see me going up to people in wheelchairs reminding them that they can't walk!

   Wanna make someone feel uncomfortable? After shaking their hand slowly lift your hand to your nose and say, Mmmmmmmm.

   Just spent some time manscaping. Planning to donate to 'Locks for Love'.

   I haven't shenaniganned in about six years. I've hooliganned, I've no-good-nicked, I've ne'er-done-well, just yesterday I found myself rabble-rousing... but yup, its time to Shenanagin again.

   Walked into 5 spider webs during my evening walk, so 5 times I pantomimed putting out a flaming ski mask.