StonerDudee Funny Status Messages
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Sometimes I want to comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don't wanna have to explain why I'm in your 'Random Party Pics' album at 4am.
I'm probably not the first person to notice, but the plots of "Finding Nemo" and "Taken" are virtually identical.
She said she wanted to get a facial, but then she got mad when I came on her face!
I'm still kind of pissed they never told us how to get to Sesame Street.
My cat just graduated from the University of Phoenix.
Let me eat your face off.....said no pot head ever!
Watching Man vs Food. I think I've finally found someone who's had more meat in them than Kim Kardashian.
When you're a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
More people would drink responsibly if there was a brand of vodka named Responsibly.
Stop reading this and go have some sex
Cell phone, I dont know why you keep capitalizing VODKA, But I like the way you party....
I hate when people write thing like "b4" instead of "before." It's English, not Bingo.
Texting 101: (Oh) = stop talking to me. (K) = I'm done talking. (Whatever) = f**k you. (Fine) = f**k it. (I guess) = I don't give AF.
As I caress your firm roundness with my hands and press my face into your pink flesh your sweet juices run down my face. I love watermelon!!
The best part about this status update is that by the time you've finished reading it you realize that there is absolutely no point to it
Don't grow up. It's a trap!
I propose that we abolish marriage and engage in 3 year contracts instead, with the option for renewal.
If a thief ever broke into my home, I'd just pretend to be a thief too... We'll laugh & hug and then he'll leave because I was there first.
Long busy day, I need one of those hugs that turns into sex.
A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.
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