lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It's terrible how many cable channels are filled with nudity. And how few of those channels come with basic service
←Rate | 02-27-2010 11:41 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dilemma: Do I wash all my dishes or should I eat my cornflakes in a cup with a knife?
←Rate | 02-27-2010 03:39 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can cross my mind, run through it, play in it, bounce across it, dance in it. There is alot of room in there...
←Rate | 02-26-2010 17:41 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon i renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
←Rate | 02-26-2010 17:35 by lemonpillow Comments (3)  


   messageicon This is a mean,cruel world & I want my nappy & medications right now!
←Rate | 02-25-2010 17:20 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
←Rate | 02-25-2010 13:23 by Lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
←Rate | 02-25-2010 13:05 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well,today was a total waste of makeup.
←Rate | 02-25-2010 07:48 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I sing,i put the cat in the front yard. That way,the neighbours can see it and know it's not being strangled.
←Rate | 02-24-2010 12:11 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cheryl Cole changed her relationship status to "single". 45 million people liked this.
←Rate | 02-24-2010 07:30 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If they took all porn from the internet,all that would remain is a Facebook group called " Bring the Porn Back!"
←Rate | 02-23-2010 13:01 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love is blind. Hate is deaf. You'd think Stupid would be mute but I keep on talking.
←Rate | 02-23-2010 03:52 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If actions speak louder than words,then why can't I hear mimes?
←Rate | 02-23-2010 03:48 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes when my internet is down,i forget that the rest of my computer still works.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 17:02 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between divorce and legal seperation is that legal seperation gives a husband time to hide his money.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 13:11 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon My father was a dentist and my mother was a manicurist.They kept fighting tooth and nail.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 02:36 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Putting your phone away and paying attention to those talking to you? There's an App for that. It's called "respect".
←Rate | 02-21-2010 16:48 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon I won't stand for gossip. I prefer to sit down and make myself comfortable.
←Rate | 02-21-2010 11:36 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least,that's what the restraining order says.
←Rate | 02-20-2010 21:56 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I spent a lot of time trying to come up with a pun about limousines, but I have nothing to chauffeur it.
←Rate | 02-20-2010 04:02 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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