samdave69 Funny Status Messages
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doesn't have a beer belly. What I have is a fuel tank for a sex machine......
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04-06-2010 18:25 by samdave69
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wants a holiday that somehow follows closely to the 1966 movie: The Endless Summer...... any volunteers?
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03-10-2010 03:48 by samdave69
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loves eating big meals. I especially love a 7 course meal, of which my best is a cheese burger and a six pack of beer.....
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03-07-2010 22:32 by samdave69
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examining one of his patients. Took the husband aside and said: Your wife doesn't look too good. Husband said: I know but she's got an awesome personality...
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03-03-2010 22:34 by samdave69
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finally understood reality is an illusion. It is created by the lack of alcohol...
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02-28-2010 22:14 by samdave69
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procastinating now. Don't see why I should put it off......
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02-27-2010 01:55 by samdave69
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thinks it's only a weak soul that walks towards Alchohol as a 'solution' when the going gets tough. Not me though - I sprint towards it....
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02-26-2010 08:48 by samdave69
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Alzheimers: You wake up and wonder who's sleeping next to you, where you are, what you did the night before, why you're naked..... kinda like college, isn't it?
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02-08-2010 22:56 by samdave69
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Ashley cole was arrested for speeding!! In his defence, he was told tht John Terry's car was parked outside his house!!!
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02-06-2010 09:51 by samdave69
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saw a middle-eastern friend shaking a carpet on 6th floor balcony. I called out "whats up ahmed, won't it start?"
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02-05-2010 22:07 by samdave69
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veni, vidi, velcro. I came, I saw, I stuck around...
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02-05-2010 11:53 by samdave69
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: Everytime I hear the dirty word "excercise", I wash my mouth with chocolate.....
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02-05-2010 11:32 by samdave69
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pays tribute to Mickey Mouse who will turn 82 years old this year. He's now the oldest rodent in show business, unless you count that thing on Donald Trump's head....
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02-05-2010 11:30 by samdave69
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saw a naked man running down his road. I rolled down the car window and asked "hey why are you running stark naked " to which the naked man replied "because you are home early....."
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02-05-2010 11:27 by samdave69
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Confucius he say, man who sit on tall toilet is high on pot...
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02-04-2010 23:20 by samdave69
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Confucius say: Man who go to sleep with sexual problem, wake up with solution in hand....
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02-04-2010 22:21 by samdave69
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a cookbook is like a Danielle Steele novel for chubby girls....
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02-04-2010 12:57 by samdave69
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lives with fear everyday. Sometimes she lets him go fishing....
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02-04-2010 12:46 by samdave69
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wakes up grumpy, but most days he just lets her sleep....
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02-04-2010 12:45 by samdave69
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red meat is not bad for you. Green furry meat is....
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02-04-2010 10:07 by samdave69
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