StonerDudee Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.
←Rate | 11-26-2012 19:59 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.
←Rate | 11-26-2012 19:46 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
←Rate | 11-26-2012 19:45 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people say “If you can't beat them, join them”. I say “If you can't beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
←Rate | 11-26-2012 19:42 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think its nice my vacuum cleaner has head lights....just in case I wanna wake up in the middle of the night and clean in the dark, or wake up my dog making him think he's getting hit by a train.
←Rate | 11-25-2012 19:16 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
←Rate | 11-25-2012 18:28 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's give thanks we live in a country where political disagreements are expressed with poorly spelled Facebook posts instead of missiles.
←Rate | 11-22-2012 15:04 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're reading this while camping out in front of Walmart. You're a douche bag.
←Rate | 11-21-2012 15:25 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon After filling up my gas tank this morning before work, I realized that I didn't want to eat for the rest of the week anyway.
←Rate | 11-19-2012 23:56 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pirates that used X to mark the spot were stupid. If they had used a G, nobody would ever have found their treasure.
←Rate | 11-19-2012 23:43 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't exercise to be healthy. I exercise to look sexy af naked!
←Rate | 11-06-2012 16:26 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Afroman was going to vote. But then he got high..
←Rate | 11-06-2012 11:27 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was gonna vote. But the I got high.
←Rate | 11-06-2012 09:25 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know what is sweeter than the laughter from a child? The sound of silence from not having any kids.
←Rate | 10-22-2012 17:00 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time you're asked "What's Up" respond "A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house."
←Rate | 10-22-2012 16:57 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Karma is when you throw a banana in Mario Kart and you end up slipping on it.
←Rate | 10-22-2012 16:53 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man's a woman's best friend.He'll never let her down,comfort her after a bad day,inspire her to do what she never thought she could.He'll enable her to express her deepest emotions, & enable her to be confident & sexy. Wait it's wine that does that, n
←Rate | 10-22-2012 11:39 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boy: Do you like parties? Girl: Yes, why? Boy: Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!
←Rate | 10-22-2012 11:04 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry. I didn't hear a word you said because you are an adult with braces.
←Rate | 10-22-2012 10:54 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't want to sound ignorant but if I can't understand something... then it's stupid and I hate it.
←Rate | 10-20-2012 12:48 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  




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