Snotty Funny Status Messages
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Our Grandpa died of a V!agra overdose,,, and to this day, we still regret not burying him just a few inches deeper...
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03-30-2012 11:27 by snotty
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Our Grandpa of a V!agra overdose,,, and to this day, we still regret not burying him just a few inches deeper...
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03-30-2012 11:25 by snotty
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My neighbor is the CEO of a factory that makes annoying children
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03-30-2012 11:23 by snotty
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If I give you a tour of my house, in every room I'll say, "This is where the magic happens!",,, and you'll feel super weird about it.
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03-30-2012 09:36 by snotty
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I used to be addicted to soap,,,,,but I'm clean now
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03-29-2012 19:50 by snotty
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Updates are like performing live music. Often the audience goes wild for your mediocre solo but sleeps through one you think is brilliant.
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03-29-2012 12:30 by snotty
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I don't know how this Nyquil is going to affect my status updates, but I don't know how this Nyquil is going to affect my status updates.
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03-28-2012 16:01 by snotty
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Remember children are our future...If we do not keep them plump and healthy, we will have nothing to eat during the apocalypse.
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03-28-2012 15:52 by snotty
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Geeesh,,Nobody seems to care about all the times I DIDN'T drop the baby.
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03-28-2012 15:48 by snotty
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Wish me luck... I'm off to contest library fines, on the grounds that I'm an "exceedingly slow" reader.
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03-27-2012 17:10 by snotty
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I don't know alot about history,,, but I know Marco Polo was definitely the most annoying swimmer of all the famous explorers.
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03-27-2012 13:43 by snotty
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To be or not to be? What a silly question Hamlet... Just let it be,, let it be... J. Macartney
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03-27-2012 09:18 by snotty
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Think of a number 1 through 10. Double it, Subtract 1, add 20, multiply it by 5, add 2, divide by 2, close your eyes, dark, isn't it?
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03-27-2012 07:53 by snotty
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Just overheard the guy in the next stall over whisper "get out of me" and then start to cry.... Lord, How I hate Turnpike rest stops.
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03-27-2012 07:48 by snotty
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Apparently,, re-enacting scenes from "Deadliest Catch" are frowned upon at Red Lobster.
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03-27-2012 07:09 by snotty
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And now I must perform the nightly ritual where I use "floss" to purify my gums of their excess blood
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03-26-2012 21:00 by snotty
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I love Captain Crunch,,, and by that I mean I can't get enough of tasting the "roof of my mouth" skin... Two more bowls till I can tongue my brain.
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03-24-2012 19:17 by snotty
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Been at this farmer's market for an hour,,, Still can't find the guy that sells the smug sense of superiority everyone here has.
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03-24-2012 16:43 by snotty
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Never trust a rabbit or a duck,,, if you want to find out which hunting season it is.
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03-24-2012 09:37 by snotty
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TMZ just reported that Stephen Hawking and Siri are now officially dating.
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03-24-2012 09:36 by snotty
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