Snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Right before I die, I'm getting my hand stamped,,,,, Just in case I wanna come back in again.
←Rate | 04-12-2012 16:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon NEWS: Scientists discover that doves can't cry............ Prince stripped of high school diploma.......
←Rate | 04-12-2012 15:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spelling bees think they're better than the illiterate bees.......... ( Sorry, I'll just let myself out..)
←Rate | 04-12-2012 14:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I had a dollar, for every dollar I don't have.
←Rate | 04-12-2012 11:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon We have a very small hen house door,,,So you've probably guessed already...Sorry,, no fat chicks
←Rate | 04-12-2012 11:42 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know,,, The first rule of redundancy club, is the first rule of redundancy club.
←Rate | 04-12-2012 11:26 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ummm,,, I just tried to make a donation to the "Tourette Syndrome Foundation" in England,,,,, and they told me to Sod off.
←Rate | 04-12-2012 11:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pizza Hut is selling a pizza with hotdogs in the crust???... Aren't the type of people who order this,, the same people who aren't able to waddle quick enough to answer the door?
←Rate | 04-11-2012 13:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I've dropped my phone.
←Rate | 04-11-2012 12:41 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Benadryl -- the $7 babysitter.
←Rate | 04-11-2012 12:39 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever wonder how many of your friends are jerks? Just post something with a typo in it..... It's like their mating call.
←Rate | 04-11-2012 12:36 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever saw an amputee being hanged,,,,, I'm pretty sure I'd just start yelling out letters
←Rate | 04-11-2012 12:32 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon You see,,, Once you start making Freudian slips, you can't stop,,, it's just one after a mother.
←Rate | 04-11-2012 12:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon In order to catch a cab,,,,, one must think like a cab first.
←Rate | 04-11-2012 09:47 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's got to be ALOT of pressure on Adele's new boyfriend to treat her like sh*t.
←Rate | 04-11-2012 07:19 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just won an award for being lazy,,,It even came with atrophy
←Rate | 04-11-2012 07:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My kids outgoing voicemail message says,," I'm sorry I won't come to the phone right now. It's 2012. LEARN TO TEXT."
←Rate | 04-11-2012 06:58 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon You gotta go for personality, guys.... They'll ALL look like grandma someday,,
←Rate | 04-11-2012 06:54 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you LOVE something, set it free.. If it comes back to you,,,,you love a boomerang
←Rate | 04-11-2012 06:50 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Ahh,,Yes,Yes,,,I can see where you're coming from." - My Urologist,,, He's a kidder,,
←Rate | 04-10-2012 14:20 by snotty Comments (0)  




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