Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages

   I kept it gangsta...but, it was like 19% gangsta.

   People who make really bad decisions are always like "I have the worst luck"

   Samsung won't stop until they create a TV so curved it watches itself.

   Just seen a picture of Rihanna fully dressed. Man these hackers don't sleep.

   january 2014: "this will be my year" august 2014: "I swear 2015 will be my year"

   "Excuse me, are you using this mirror?" - Me, at the gym

   No Grandma, EBOLA is not a new perfume from Kim Kardashian

   In hell, you have to pick just one person to have sex with for the rest of your life. Wait...

   Hey guys, just to let you all know I'll be closing my facebook account in three days. But in four days I'll be explaining why I didn't leave

   Objects in the selfie are way sadder than they appear.

   Sorry I can't make it to your event. I came down with a bad case of I hate you.

   I like people the most when I'm by myself.

   Sorry I keep forgetting you're not my therapist.

   Suggested serving size is only for skinny people right?

   I bet you won’t judge the tattoos of the person saving your life.

   *at my own wedding* Can I please stay in the car?

   If I wanted your opinion I would have married you.

   It's so depressing how the <3 symbol looks like someone dropped their ice cream cone.

   Disappointment usually stems from expecting too much from strangers on Facebook.

   Only if these women were as thorough in choosing a man as they are in choosing which selfies to upload on facebook maybe they wouldn't get heartbroken so often.