JOser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Reminder, fellas: bra cups come in sizes AA, A, B, C, D, DD, OMG, WTF.
←Rate | 06-16-2010 17:58 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a sign that said END ROAD WORK. I find it annoying too, but I don't think I would protest against it.
←Rate | 06-16-2010 17:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon What kind of troopers does the Empire use when it's nice out?
←Rate | 06-16-2010 17:54 by Joser Comments (2)  


   messageicon If food at McDonald's looked anything like on the commercials, McDonald's customers would look even less like the people on the commercials.
←Rate | 06-16-2010 17:53 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Still working on an electromagnetic pulsating device to disable cell phones in theaters. For now, please continue making do with neckpunches.
←Rate | 06-16-2010 17:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt... hehehe suckers!!!
←Rate | 06-15-2010 18:47 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon Thinks that if I was a zookeeper, I wouldn't even bother putting anything in the chameleon exhibit.
←Rate | 06-15-2010 18:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants you to know that you have my undivided, continuous, partial attention.
←Rate | 06-15-2010 18:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon All my friends who have Girlfriends want to be single... All my friends who are single want girlfriend friends... As for me, I just want a slave...
←Rate | 06-15-2010 17:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's obvious that Ed Hardy is g@y. No straight man would decide he would rather design clothing than solve mysteries with his brothers...
←Rate | 06-15-2010 17:35 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Eating kidney beans is a very small step towards cannibalism...
←Rate | 06-15-2010 17:33 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bronchitis is my least favorite dinosaur.
←Rate | 06-15-2010 17:32 by joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon A leopard can't change its spots, unless it has Photoshop.
←Rate | 06-15-2010 17:31 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just responded to a text message someone sent me a year ago with, "yeah, sounds good. Let's do that."
←Rate | 06-14-2010 19:14 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm on this insane diet. So far, I've lost my mind.
←Rate | 06-14-2010 19:13 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let this be known as my Living Will. I do not wish to be cremated. If the Zombie Apocalypse happens I would like to be a part of it.
←Rate | 06-14-2010 19:13 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Probably the most awkward thing for Chinese parents is not explaining where babies come from, but rather, where they go.
←Rate | 06-14-2010 19:12 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are they called "Starving Artists" instead of "Untalented Hippies"?
←Rate | 06-14-2010 19:11 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looked over and saw a giant frickin' spider crawling on my shoulder, so if anyone needs me I'll be over here NEVER SLEEPING EVER AGAIN EVER.
←Rate | 06-14-2010 19:11 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people have food in their teeth because no one likes them enough to mention it. This serves as an early warning system for @ssholes.
←Rate | 06-14-2010 19:10 by Joser Comments (0)  




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