Snotty Funny Status Messages

   People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.............................Benjamin Franklin

   "Where the streets have no name"...That,, my little ones, is probably why they still haven't found what they're looking for.

   Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation,, even if I'm not sure what it means

   Saw a baby goat rescue a baby sheep........ I kid ewe not

   Imitation is the sincerest form of crabmeat

   Foghorn Leghorn would have made a terrible, I say, would have made a terrible, I saya terrible poster.

   When my mom texts me, I respond, "Can't talk now, I'm driving I'll call you when I ge" then ignore all texts and calls for 4 hours./.Hi-larious

   I never make the same mistake twice.... Dozens, maybe hundreds of times-but never twice.

   Stupid people aren't flammable enough.

   I often find myself rewording a long post so many times, that it completely loses the original subject... This one started off about bacon

   Ever seen Cookie Monster's feet?......... No?.................. Well, that's Diabetes for you!!

   The word 'phonetically' doesn't even start with an F ....... FYI,,, crap like THAT,,, is why most aliens fly right past us

   The first rule of Suspense Club is................

   My Bucket List : #1. Rock down to "Electric-Avenue" #2. then take it higher..................(that's all I've got so far)

   Saw a boat with a sign that read "For Sale" so I added the missing "-ing"........................ Idiots.

   I'm old school when it comes to video games and by that I mean I turn into a senior citizen who yells "which one am I?" every 30 seconds.

   Hmmm,,,,,,, I think this coffee is broken

   The days of good grammar has went by from now on

   I DON'T want to brag,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, So I won't,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, See how that works?

   Don't even TRY a home invasion at my house,,, I've got legions of Lego people ready to launch a campaign of foot pain terrorism at my command...