doc noland Funny Status Messages
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If we make a baby, I want his or her name to remind us of that magic night - besides, how many other Doggystyle Rumplemintz Daniels can there be?
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The soundtrack to my life would just be the sound of a single car door shutting. Every. Single. Weekend.
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You wouldn't think I've ever had a stroke unless you saw me trying to get my wallet out my back pocket while driving.
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For some reason, they dont seem to be marketing the Tickle Me Elmo as heavily this Christmas.
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I have only had two loves in my life: Booze and something else
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John Gruden took my 4th grade picture to his Great Clips stylist.
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sometimes instead of poking you, I just press my finger against your profile pic and do that little coochie coo motion and whisper "girlfriend".
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whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks..I'm in public
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it still a disorder if I only cut other people?
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Honey Boo Boo's mother has a boyfriend. Lets all reflect on my life together.
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How dare you incinerate that I don't know big words.
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Another Twilight movie?God I hope Abraham Lincoln shows up and slays every last one of them.
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hmmm, I wonder where the girls that ate the poopoo out of the cup are today?
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I've never gone down on a man, but I'm probably pretty amazing at it from all the times I've stopped soda fizz from overflowing.
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Yes, Yes, YES! Not entirely sure what a "propriate" is, but apparently I'm in it...
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If Elmo is a kid toucher I'd hate to think what goes on down in Oscar's trash can
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Show me on this Elmo doll where the bad man touched you...
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If you don't get a text or email for 10 minutes you restart your phone because its probably frozen, right?
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If they were to make a porn on my life, It would be fully clothed people apologizing to each other.
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Been trying to write a romantic poem for hours, but so far all I have is "a55 rocket".
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