Tsparks Funny Status Messages

   Here's the deal. I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.

   "I'm a Barbie Girl, In the Barbie world!! Life in plasic, Its fantastic".....admit it you read this with an annoying womens voice

   I hate when I'm texting in class and someone stupid screams, "IS That A Phone"

   I love how people always say they hate drama, yet they're constantly posting their drama on Facebook!

   When I cross a one way road, I still look both sides... . . Just in case there are any women driving

   Lost my Droid for an hour. The day I lost my daughter at the zoo is now the second most terrifying experience of my life

   I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks

   I read an article the other day that said "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic" thank god I only drink every night!!

   If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments

   Sometimes the Birthday reminders on facebook remind me of the friends.i need to delete