Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Did my taxes and discovered I still owe Ukraine $4000.

   I am positive that there isn't life on any other planets ! If there was Trudeau would have sent them money

   I always thought it was "Blew by you"

   I ate a kid's meal at McDonald's today. His parents weren't too happy about it.

   I’m getting stronger with age. I can now lift $100 worth of groceries with one hand.

   If Joe Biden's economy is so good, why can't those student loans people pay back their own loans?

   When you die people cry and beg for you to come back. But when you do, there's the running and the screaming.

   I saw all your OJ jokes yesterday and they absolutely killed me

   Police have confirmed that the man who fell from the roof of the 18th floor night club, was not a bouncer.

   I had a babysitter and she didnt watch me and I stick a pencil up my nose