guest-TJ Funny Status Messages

   asks if what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas....... then why did my new wife follow me home????

   I’m about to eat gas station breakfast.....tell my family that I love them.

   The first rule of Right Club is that your wife is the only member of Right Club....

   “Erectile Dysfunction” is such a harsh term. Why not just call it “Sleepy Peepee?”

   Liking on Facebook is definitely an addiction for some

   My mind is telling me yes‎ But my body My body's telling me no...Me waking up for work every morning! ‎

   Anyone know how many calories you burn an hour scrolling on Facebook?

   Lebron flashes his pen*s on live TV and all of the sudden all straight guys turn gay and are running to see it

   Happy Father's Day, God!

   Why has Skittles taken over everyones Facebook profile pictures???

   What is an acceptable age to give a kid a Facebook account as a birthday present?

   Trump For President! MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!

   R.I.P to any girl that looks at Ronda Rousey's man the wrong way

   FYI....If you are one of those who like the strong silent type....then you're gonna just love my farts!!

   Ugh!! My wife sent me to Walmart to get feminine products and I’ve been walking around for 45 mins...I’m starting to think Wal-Mart doesn’t sell mops....