Maureen Funny Status Messages

   would like "Reasons I Don't Want To Be At Work Today" for $200, Alex.

   NOT being considered to be a judge on American Idol!

   realized that if no one can reach you.....you never have to waste time returning phone calls.

   planning on stuffing my turkey with Froot Loops - I find it is colorfully festive and fun for the kids!

   attempting to work the word "Flagrant" in to my conversations this afternoon as I just like saying it!

   ever since watching the SNL skit, I can never hear BOC's "Don't Fear The Reaper" without thinking - "Man, that song could use some more cowbell!"

   "Hello Wednesday morning....for a moment, I thought you were your friend, Friday! Forgive the disappointed look!"

   making my list and checking it twice due to early on-set senility!

   told my son today, "I believe every single word you say. It's when you put them together to form a sentence that I have an issue!"

   sooo not a control freak - I just happen to know what is best for everyone else and how they should be doing it!

   has come to realize that my job is like an episode of "LOST". Confusing, filled with a lot of interesting characters and just when I think I have it figured out - everything changes.

   wants to be Oprah"s secret half sister!

   too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet.

   would happily join one of these "occupy" movements, if only they were looking to occupy a Dunkin' Donuts.

   would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

   Does anyone know where I can return 10 Lords a Leaping without a gift receipt?

   enjoys long, romantic walks to my fridge!

   - since it is the thought that counts...I'll just keep sitting here THINKING about being productive this evening

   Kia recalls 146,000 US vehicles - there are gonna be a LOT of angry hamsters!

   just found out that a "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. Apparently, I'm not getting ready in a "jiffy" any more.