Keyboard Smasher 5000 Funny Status Messages
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If I ever go missing I want my picture on a 40 oz beer rather than a milk carton, because I want fun people to find me.
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organizing a flash mob at my place, Thursday 3pm. Bring lawnmowers.
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If they ever invent a sensor for behind-your-back eye-rolls, I am so screwed.
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Sometimes I whisper, "I'm on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world.
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thinks that you are never too old to talk into a fan to hear your robot voice.
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A back-up plan means your plan sucks.
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Admit It, At least once in your Life, You Have Tried To Squeeze your eyes Shut and Shoot Lasers Out of them With Intense Concentration.
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Lady Gaga taught me its okay to be different. Ke$ha taught me to be myself and not care what anyone else thinks.Bruno Mars taught me to do anything for that one person I loveMost importantly, Rebecca Black taught me the days of the week.
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wears my glasses to the liquor store in an effort to appear responsible
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likes to end all my phone calls with "Ok, I'll see you later on at the party!" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out.
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I know my limits. I don't pay any attention to them, but I know them
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I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
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In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That'll teach 'em to f*ck with you.
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Had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
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ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
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■a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school's pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?
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My Friend blames my Immaturity for getting him arrested! I'm not Immature! Hehe, Don't Drop the Soap!
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