Moon Funny Status Messages

   Love how I can remember the lyrics to just about any song written in the 70s but can't remember where I laid my car keys down last night?

   I'm so old I just sit around and look at Facebook all day.... like younger people do nowadays.

   My doctor says I need to cut back on my gluten. Over my bread body!

   People who make their cars come to a complete halt on top of a railroad tracks to look both ways to see if a train is coming need to stop!....I mean go!

   I'd really like to get personalized license plates for my car but they're so expensive I decided to change my name to XJS-3582

   I'm beginning to believe whoever said "Hindsight is 2020" was sending a message to the future we all misunderstood.

   I can always tell when a friend spent a lot on their kitchen remodel when I can't find their garbage can.

   If you drop a cookie on the floor and bend down to pick it up does that count as a squat?

   I'm so glad the elections are over and we can put all that stress behind us and move on to being stessed about the holidays.

   Who am I sad passed away? Anwer: Alex Trebek.

   I put the thingamajig in the whatchamacallit and turned doohickey and wuteveritis still doesn't work. Any ideas?

   I can predict the future, for example, sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ oʇ sʎɐʍǝpıs pɐǝɥ ɹnoʎ uɹnʇ pןnoʍ noʎ ʍǝuʞ I

   My wife asked me to put up a canopy with bright lights. I told her now is the winter of our disco tent.

   Good newsh, I'm shurvivfing the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss!

   Think I've been staying home isolating for too long as I just watched a Hallmark holiday Christmas movie in its entirety and I actually thought it wasn't corny.

   You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one......but think the odds of winning the HGTV Dream Home are pretty good.

   "Walking In a Wonderland" is a great Christmas song for Southerners to keep in mind since they don't know how to drive in it.

   When you drive an old air-cooled Volkswagen a essential oil is dw40.

   Did you know that the sentence "Are you as bored as I am" can be read backwards and still makes sense?

   Don't forget to wave smile and wish your neighbors a Merry Christmas who are kind like Facebook friends you might not really know either, but live closer.