Baddie Funny Status Messages

   Blacking out is the ultimate in relaxation.

   The great thing about hanging up on someone is you can no longer hear them talking.

   If you can't be with the one you love, tolerate the one you're with.

   Baby, Baby, Baby, NOOOOOOOO! - Bieber's first night in jail

   If there is a hell, I already know that I'm going there. So at this point of my life, it's really go big or go home.

   The problem with your relationship is, you're in a relationship.

   I don't know how the Canadian anthem isn't just people apologizing.

   Justin Bieber Charged With Criminal Assault of a limo driver! He commits a criminal assault every time he sings.

   That's a nice tribal tattoo you have there, caucasian man... or should I refer to your Native American name 'Man That Paddles Douche Canoe'

   Keep eating your french fries with a fork, psycho.

   If you own a dog that can fit inside a handbag, you don't own a dog ... or even a pet. You own a fashion accessory that sh*ts a lot.

   Sorry I lied about being on the pill and now you are connected to me until you die. - WOMEN

   My entire existence is just me sitting around waiting to get hungry again.

   I am woman, hear me Blah, Blah, Blah.

   I use Google Earth to see which yards have milkshakes.

   How long does someone have to be in a coma before you can eat their fries?

   I knew my girlfriend was getting fat once she started fitting into my wife's clothes.

   You make me want to stop wearing the same jeans 3 days in a row.

   It's not about the chase, it's about the kill

   I'll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That's what this paper says.