Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages

   Laziness is a dish best served delivered.

   When does paying taxes get shut down? Asking for everyone with a job.

   I like to hit snooze from the back.

   You can't fix stupid but you can avoid dating it.

   I'm available if you wanna dance with somebody or wanna feel the heat with somebody... just sayin.

   Every time I make plans to eat better I can hear my stomach laughing

   Be the change you wish the homeless people didn't know you had

   This is actually Kanye West's second marriage, as he's been divorced from reality for many years now.

   I'm an adult, but not "pay my bills on time" adult.

   Clark Kent’s mask is a pair of glasses? And no one recognised him? I wore glasses to the job I was fired from and I was still kicked out.

   Stop, drop and roll won't work in hell.

   I can't relate to people who "forget to eat"

   Can't believe people still go to the gym when they can just post it as their status and go have ice cream instead.

   Being in the friend zone is like being the guy in the band who plays that little triangle.

   No Officer, that's medicinal gasoline and matches.

   Let's just have sex.. I don't need another friend.

   In a perfect world, men would get the silent treatment anytime they requested it.

   ME: Siri, where did my year go? SIRI: "See Facebook"

   "Let me make your morning" - coffee

   Men are born with a gene that allows them to know what the hell is going on in movies.