JAB Funny Status Messages
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I'm going to as many Halloween parties as I can. I'll be in the invisible man. You'll just have to imagine I'm there. . .
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10-30-2014 21:16 by JAB
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I was just reading, 3 Steps to Repair Your Metabolism. My three steps are. Get a beer, open beer and drink said beer. . .
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11-02-2014 09:06 by JAB
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Today marks the two year anniversary of the end of the world... and I am still waiting. . .
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12-21-2014 09:45 by JAB
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The Cosby Show. Where are they now? As far away from Billy Cosby as they can get. . .
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12-24-2014 00:05 by JAB
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The Colts would of lost using a Nerf football. . .
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01-19-2015 16:49 by JAB
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If anyone is looking for an unlicensed private plane pilot. Please give me a call, my rates are as low as I can go by state laws. . .
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01-20-2015 14:47 by JAB
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I'm no weather man, but it's snowing out in Boston. . .
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01-27-2015 07:24 by JAB
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You know that friend who says they'll be there for you even if it's 1 am. I am that person only because of insomnia. . .
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01-27-2015 20:49 by JAB
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Talk about keeping up with the Kardashians, Bruce is growing breasts. . .
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02-03-2015 18:04 by JAB
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To hell with all this snow. I woke up this morning and beat the fugk out of the snow man in my neighbors front yard. . .
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02-10-2015 08:56 by JAB
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Between Bruce Jenner and the Kardashians, they should all be court ordered to go to driving school.
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02-22-2015 19:51 by JAB
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Ronda Rousey raped me, ok it wasn't rape, I enjoyed it. . .
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03-01-2015 12:34 by JAB
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I just seen a chicken cross the road. I'm not even going to question it. It's not like the chicken is going to answer me back. . .
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03-05-2015 12:24 by JAB
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Hillary has been sending me sexual explicit emails for years. . .
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03-10-2015 22:53 by JAB
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Happy dry hump Wednesday for you singles out there. . .
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03-11-2015 19:45 by JAB
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Walk around like a secret agent. Hand cuff yourself to a briefcase and take public transportation. . .
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03-17-2015 02:47 by JAB
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You seen one solar eclipse, you seen em all. If you want, I can show you a full moon any day of the week though. . .
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03-20-2015 19:14 by JAB
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Vegitarian is a native American name for Bad hunter. . .
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03-21-2015 14:10 by JAB
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Everyday I see some stupid comment on a mutual friends page and I am forced to add another name to my block list. . .
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03-30-2015 23:24 by JAB
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Serta has an icomfort mattress trying to emulate ipad, ipod imac. What's with adding an I that makes a mattress better. It doesn't, icall that a bunch of bull$hit. . .
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04-02-2015 06:44 by JAB
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