JOser Funny Status Messages

   Just think of how different the world would be if Noah had eaten those two chickens.

   Seriously, "BFF" I've haven't spoken to in 4 months, you deleted me on Facebook?? It only took me a month to notice. I thought we were tight

   I think people would be less likely to piss me off if they knew how much I watch Forensic Files

   I wish there was a "I liked your Facebook status until every one of your moron friends had to comment on it

   I'm beginning to think the only real committed women are the ones who are institutionalized.

   Behind every great man is a ninja. And behind that ninja is another ninja.

   Traffic lights are society's way of mocking the colorblind.

   I enjoy watching uptight people try to act laid back.

   Its been a business doing pleasure with you...

   Giving this positive outlook thing the old college try. Which means I'll only try on Tuesdays and Thursdays after noon.

   100 calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off.

   I decide which beer to drink on a case by case basis.

   Wondering if in the future, robots will have a dance called the human.

   Always crush and snort your first pill on the pharmacy counter to make sure they're not passing you some fake sh it.

   Ask your doctor if being a doctor is right for him. Everything isn't about you.