Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I’ve decided to spend this Valentines Day with the one I love…. I just really hope she’s working her corner today.

   Happy Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D.) Everyone!

   It looks like cupid saw his shadow again this year!

   feeling sad because you don't have a Valentine. Cheer up, no one loves you the rest of the year either

   Nike has to stop it with this "Just do it". First it was Tiger Woods. Then Lance Armstrong. And now Oscar Pistorius.

   I'm spending Valentine's Day with my x.......... box 360.

   Oscar Pistorius will try and plead temporary insanity! I personally do not think he has a leg to stand on!!

   I shot my girlfriend with a cupid's arrow thinking that she would fall more in love with me, but now she's just laying there on the ground ignoring me.

   Steve Martin had his first kid today at the age of 67... and that is how it's done. Happy Valent Times day to him."

   The Oscar Pistorius "The Blade Runner" murder story has taken over the headlines. Would't it be an even better story if he used a knife to kill her.

   Happy Single's Discrimination Day!

   The best part of Valentine"s day is no more Vermont teddy bear BIG HUNKA LOVE BEAR commercials.

   Valentine's Day is the day that the “V” and “D” come together ...

   It's Valentine's Day... If you arer married, go and kiss your wife or husband, if you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, do the same... and if you are single, kiss the ground and thank GOD!!! =)) HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

   I overheard my girlfriend on the phone to her bff saying she wants to get engaged on Valentine’s Day. I hope she finds someone nice.

   If you didn't want me to sleep at work, maybe you shouldn't have given me the paycheck to buy the drugs w/ in the first place. Work's fault.

   Today shopping malls will be empty... however parking lots will be full...

   Guys, for Valentine's Day leave 3 notes scattered around your house for your girlfriend that say "Will", "you", and "me." That'll keep her busy while you watch sports.

   roses are red, violets are blue, I'm sorry babe, got nothing for you.

   Soulmate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee.