Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Don't underestimate the power of a fresh, odorless, clean and well-maintained puss y, Ladies.

   Taylor Swift's Dirty Little Secret Will Make You Sick... It's All About AGENDA 21, Look It Up!!.

   a girl called me once and said come over, nobody is home! I went there and she was right, nobody was home

   there's a thin line between love & hate & it's located on marriage certificates rite under the signatures

   There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else's house.

   Who's the biggest prostitute in history...Ms. Pacman...for 10 cents that slut swallowed balls till she died....

   Hi Brain, I'd like to introduce you to someone I don't think you know...this is Mouth. You should really hang out more and get to know each other...Maybe then Mouth will stop hanging out with Foot so much.

   So the etch-a-sketch creator is dead... His family is reported to be a little shook up...

   They should change the name of "Disney Channel" to "Celebrity Pre-Rehab".

   MONEY - its only the root of all evil when you are dead broke.

   Why you acting hollywood when you ain't never been to Hollywood!!

   People would never be late if the Mario "running out of time" music started playing a few minutes before.

   I hate when a stranger smiles at me and I have to smile back and pretend I'm not dead inside.

   I don't mind playing games as long as we both end up naked at the end.

   What if the real Slim Shady is paraplegic?

   At 4-way stop, the first person to finish their text has the right of way right?

   I sometimes like to close my eyes and imagine a world with no poverty and also that my hand is a woman.

   can we all agree this fake moustache thing has gone on long enough??

   this Mali fighting needs to stop. I keep thinking the headline reads Mall shooting...

   Her last boyfriend was Asian: Good news for your D. Her last boyfriend was black: Bad news for your D