Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Strangly enough we will need China to finance us in our war against them ! Crazy thing is they will probably do it !

   Colorado Rockies will be giving out bongs to the first 15,000 on opening night.

   So if you packed your lunch with a few weed brownies its all good.

   Have you ever gone skiing ? On weed man ???

   You know you're getting old when the faster you move... the more you forget!

   Chick-Fil-A will be flying their pickles at half-staff today.

   I'd SOOO love to get back to reading Facebook updates about e-cards, what people are having for lunch, how they would love to hit the gym but that cookie looks so good, and how much they love their children but they sure are getting on mommy's nerves.

   Congratulations to all who won in the election and my condolences to all who have lost I wish you all the best in the future. Now please get your damn signs off my street corners. Have a great day.

   Its official. The Rose Garden has been replaced with a watermelon patch, and the kitchen turned into a KFC.

   everyone under 30 is moving to CO and WA so Dems will only win 2 states in 2016...

   Bo is re-elected the same day Colorado legalizes pot, I wonder if citizens will now get pot stamps instead of food stamps. Well played peeps of Colorado.

   States that issue Food Stamps should also legalize marijuana, They just go hand and hand

   Obama's Victory Speech should of started with " Allow me to re-introduce myself!" My name is OOOOO!!

   I knew obama would win.. he's kenyan, and they ALWAYS win races!

   It gives Denver the "mile high" city a whole different meaning now! Haha

   Over Six Billion Dollars were spent on this Election Campaign, so that Americans can be in the exact same place they were in Before it started. Well done, America... Well. Done.

   With Halo 4, Black Ops II and Assasins Creed III, I think November might register the lowest teen pregnancy rates in a long time!

   Honey Boo-Boo endorsed Obama on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Was that so momma could buy their paint chips on a snap card?

   Mitt Romney's campaign slogan, 'Keep America American,' the same as a phrase used by the KKK? Interesting...

   According to Apple Maps, Obama is now President of most of Canada.