Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Watching the Election was like watching the Super Bowl but without the possibility of Janet Jackson having a wardrobe malfunction.

   Obama...Winner winner chicken dinner...(what to soon?)

   BREAKING NEWS: The Last person just finished voting in Florida....

   Im relocating to Colorado, I just heard the news; Colorado is now a weed state. I can smoke while voting next time around!

   BREAKING NEWS: Biden rushed to the hospital after collapsing of a laught attack to the news of Obama win!

   This is the best time to invest in the food stamps market.

   We need to build some hydroelectric dams and harness all these tears from Republicans. Every crisis solved.

   Give Mitt Romney some time. He's having a hard time admitting that there's something that he can't buy.

   I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think…is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?

   50% of Students get a job after college? Oh wait if you voted for Obama you didn't go to college....my bad

   Your p0sts make me wish I couldn't read.

   Well on the plus side, there will be free birth control so they won't reproduce!!

   Why doesn't The Bible explain why a man's G-spot is in his butthole?

   oh good, my Obama bucks are still good!

   Four more years?! I'm praying the Mayans were right now, so it'll only be four more weeks!!

   Election is over and you may now return to your normal, errr.... Well maybe not normal, return to your current lives!

   B itches or not, I still say 99 problems is a lot of problems!

   PHEW!!! I thought my food stamps were going to vanish..

   Colorado is the first state to legalize marijuana! only 21 and up Time to play some bob marley.

   Papa John's out in Denver bout to make some money since weed is legal... Smart investment Peyton Manning