Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Show me where you were kissed from a rose so I know it's Seal

   I have a gardener that'll do pretty much anything you ask of him. It's like having your own Personal Jesus

   Maury needs to lock the Door so those Chicks can't run backstage.. Face it bithc

   Too sick to get out of bed, the batteries in the remote control died while channel surfing, and now the TV is stuck on a SpongeBob SquarePants marathon. Oh death, where is thy sting?

   an hour back for daylight savingss ?? well good.... atleast the clock in my car will finally be right again.

   New Urban Legand: If you stand in front of a mirror at midnight and scroll so far down your Timeline, you'll end up on MySpace.

   apparently my new girlfriends natural hair color is bald...

   I love spending money as much as my government does.

   If you were dying of thirst in the desert, I wouldn't let you drink my urine.

   I'm turning my clock back to 1978...

   Time to set the clocks ahead 23 hours.

   I bet Flava Flav HATES daylight savings time.

   I take my dog clubbing with me cause he's good at chasing tail...

   Apparently the little box on the up right side of fb seems more interesting than the actual status updates!

   At 2AM tonight it's Daylight Savings or "Drunk Dial Everyone You Know" night as my party buddies like to call it.

   Don't forget to change your clocks tonight and to change your president on Tuesday

   I set my daylight savings time back 13 years so I could party like it was 1999!

   Last week Honey Boo Boo endorsed President Obama. I knew Obama was pro birth control but I didn't realize the poster child for birth control was pro Obama.

   Cant Help Eavesdropping to a Group of Senior Citizens as they Reminisce their College Life... Funny and Disgusting at the same time..

   i time traveled tonight without using a DeLorean