Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Sumung s 3 was launched some time ago and iphone 5 can can't beat it.

   Ummmm... Turns out The Royal Family isn't So Stuffy !

   So a film sparked this whole thing.....Have these ppl seen Roots and Shinderlist's List?.....

   tried to kill a spider by drowning it, but it looked at me and asked, "Where's the soap?"

   How about they make a film that makes these ppl give us free oil?

   I know a lot of midget jokes, I'm afraid they will come back to bite me in the ass.

   My worst ideas have all either started or ended with having no pants on.

   We all have that ONE friend who checks in on Facebook when he is at Hooters and doesn't post pics.... Yeah..... Screw that guy.

   Unfriended me? Wow, you sure showed m

   If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black were drowning and you could only save one, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

   Trust me, as you get to know me, I just get weirder.

   I love when my boss catches me actually doing work.

   What doesn't kill you, leaves you alive for something else that will.

   Mistakes are meant for learning, not repeating!

   We text 24/7, but when we meet, it's so awkward.

   If you're easy to get, then you're easy to forget.

   Just saw 2 homeless guys hitting each other with pieces of cardboard.....PILLOW FIGHT

   Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects.

   ..... Geez ...... those movie critics in the Middle East are a tough crowd....

   .... SEAL Team 6 Killed the bearded one ..... let's get that straight .... once and for all!!!!!