Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   DANG MAAN! People in Cali don't know how to drive! >: o

   I got Mood Poisoning. Must have been something I hate.

   Anti-gay breakfast sandwhich.. mmm always taste better when its full of hate!

   All you ladies in full support of G@Y rights; Its all fun and games until your man comes out of the closet or you lose your man to another guy.

   What kind of idiot would take a cab from West Philly to Bel Air?

   Vegetarian is the old Indian word for sucks at hunting.

   I'd prefer it if you broke my heart with rough sex.

   Rick Ross made a song call "Hold Me Back"....He dont seem to realize how many people that would take

   Don't let this smile fool you. I'll put it in your ass without asking.

   I spend 87% of my energy to appear normal.

   Many people don't know this, but you can quietly be a Christian, Muslim or Athiest.

   BOSS: Do you understand? ME: Yeah... BOSS: *Walks away* ME: What did she just say?

   Most folks don't know this, but you can quietly be Heterosexual, H0m0sexual or Metrosexual.

   How does a person from New Zealand find a sheep in tall grass? Very satisfying.

   I like you so let's get this nightmare they call a relationship started.

   Don't stare at me during sex! I don't know you!

   If I had a hammer, I'd most likely b!tch about my lack of nails.

   When I set the bar too high, I just go under it.

   I bet women's trust issues with men started with a weatherman.

   they say dogs and owners look alike.. is that why Obamas dog is sportin a fro and is black an white?