Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   A new poll found 44 percent of Florida voters think the country is on the wrong track, and the rest think JFK is still president.

   This status sucks!

   Ladies be careful, some of these guys don't want to get into your pants, they want to wear them.

   Dear Woman who is wearing jeans with a huge hole near the crotch. Yes I understand that is fashionable, just not in the office…. unless you are smoking hot…

   Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

   Happy National Tequila Day! And tomorrow, enjoy National Hangover Day?!?!

   How did flying babies in diapers wielding Bow & Arrows ever become a symbol of love?!!!

   George Jefferson is dead!........''Moving on up to that apt. in the sky!!!'' R.I.P.

   Sherman Hemsley(George Jeferson) has passed on! In his own words he would probably say ''Somehow a Honky is behind this!!!''

   Archie Buinker & George Jefferson together again......in a much better place!!!

   ''Please punch in your account number, phone number,and the last four digits of your social security, so I can transfer you so they can ask you for those same numbers again!''

   writing in his new book "sex and pregnancy - a possible connection?"

   Rest In Peace Sherman Hemsley aka George Jefferson.. You're differently moving on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky.

   The only thing that should be seperated by color is laundry♥

   I don't like to boast,, So I don't....... I'm probably the best at not boasting,, Actually... The very best.

   Sometimes,,,, I don't like it at the grown-ups table.

   Gloria,,, Sometimes I still panic knowing that the rhythm is going to get me.

   remember when you were a child, you used to blow bubbles? well he's back in town

   Hey I just met you and this might seem crazy but give me good head and don't be lazy

   Okay Canadians you win... When you convert Fahrenheit to Celsius, it's only 46.6 here in the states.