HaHa Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Whenever I played the piano when I was a kid, my dog would howl. Eventually getting fed up with the dog's howling. My dad said for goodness sakes, can you play something the dog does't know.
←Rate | 09-23-2018 20:22 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I said Alexa, what do women want? The damn thing has not shut up for the past three days.
←Rate | 09-25-2018 01:11 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Uranus, a town in Missouri has a news paper call The Uranus Examiner
←Rate | 09-25-2018 16:33 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wednesday is known as "hump day". But to my dog, everyday is hump day.
←Rate | 09-25-2018 16:45 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alcohol doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean..... Against the walls, tables, chairs ect ect
←Rate | 09-29-2018 23:12 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you're really not liked at your job, when they relocate and don't tell you where.
←Rate | 09-30-2018 00:15 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Consciousness is the nightmare before sleep.
←Rate | 10-02-2018 21:39 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bachelor is a guy who will never find out how many faults he has.
←Rate | 10-02-2018 21:42 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dictionary the only place where divorce comes before marriage.
←Rate | 10-03-2018 02:45 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Japan has built humanoid robots to do construction work. The robots are so human like that they have three reports of sexual harassment.
←Rate | 10-04-2018 05:32 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never knew that tanning beds had a pumpkin spice setting.
←Rate | 10-04-2018 07:44 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before I was born, I was given a choice between a big di*k, or a good memory. I don't remember what one I chose.
←Rate | 10-04-2018 14:29 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got my E-Harmony results. They match me with a computer, a chair, and a bottle of lotion.
←Rate | 10-04-2018 14:33 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe people would be more concerned about saving the planet if chocolate and coffee were on the endangered list.
←Rate | 10-05-2018 16:35 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend cured me of my constipation by telling me she thought she was pregnant.
←Rate | 10-05-2018 18:25 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon ... Not all fairy tales start with "Once upon a time." Some start with "If I am elected president."
←Rate | 10-05-2018 19:42 by Haha Comments (1)  


   messageicon .. HIJKLMNO is the chemical formula for water, right? ...... H to O
←Rate | 10-05-2018 20:29 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I feel like saying something I shouldn't . I ask my self, what would the president do? Then I go head and say it.
←Rate | 10-06-2018 06:19 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't get the president's alert test tex, but I did get a tex, two big macs, fish filet, large fry, large diet coke.
←Rate | 10-07-2018 17:16 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm trying to get my MIL to go ice fishing before the ice get too thick.
←Rate | 10-09-2018 02:40 by Haha Comments (0)  




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