@truebeachbabe Funny Status Messages

   I have to be successful because I have very expensive taste.

   I'll stop wearing black when they invent a darker color.

   If you're cooler than me, does that make me hotter than you?

   I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.

   I'm almost perfect when I heavily edit my selfies.

   Diet Dedication: When the chicken on your Subway salad kinda tastes like fish, but you eat it anyways because worse comes to worst, you'll just lose a few more pounds.

   If it's the thought that counts, I should probably be in jail.

   I want to be something really scary for Halloween. So, for this year, I'm dressing up as 3% phone battery.

   People are so concerned about having to wait to see if Trump will want a recount, but are completely forgetting Bernie's and Gore's recounts. Hillary even started the Obama "birther" movement to end his legitimacy. #hypocrites