Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Ugly hoes, you can NOT have attitudes! You need to be nice, cause your looks sure ain't getting you nowhere!!!!

   My last relationship ended when she asked me to take out the trash and I said, ok… where do you want to go?

   it wrong to tell the person who just used the bathroom ahead of you that they need to see a doctor?

   Richard Dawson has died....WOW!! I'm SHOCKED!!! I thought he died YEARS AGO?!?!?!

   Whoever made the ''One loyal Girlfriend is worth more than one hundred hoes'' post has never been with a prostitute...

   Women, they always want what they can't have!

   The only difference between try and triumph is a little 'umph'.

   if I wanted a "home cooked" meal, I'd stay home and cook!

   VelVeeta....the expensive government cheese.

   c'mon the shopping was'nt that bad at the Eaton Center

   Boycott IHOP!,,,, And only buy domestic.

   GIVE ME A BEET! ~ Hip hop Chef

   People don't seem to realize that doing what's right is no guarantee against misfortune.

   Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half.

   I finally got it all together... but I forgot where I put it.

   People who walk on I-95 are so friendly. I've gone past 3 in the last hour and they all gave me the thumbs up.

   Being free is no guarantee of happiness, but if you're unhappy, at least it will be on your own terms rather than someone else's.

   There must be a lot of people dumping F/B due to how lame some of these post have become.

   Never hate your enemies. It affects your judgment.

   if someone tells you their buns are moldy and you're not in the kitchen....RUUUN"!!