Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   facebook..... its like The Hotel California... You can check in at any time... But you can't never leave!!!

   Parents: You can help fight childhood obesity by stop feeding your child, fatty foods!!

   The older your Facebook post, The "Creepier " your like becomes.

   What do women want? (I'm bored and this should be very entertaing)

   Kia recalls 146,000 US vehicles - there are gonna be a LOT of angry hamsters!

   What do you think i'm some kind of Summoner?

   As a kid, I use to talk to the fan so I can hear my ROBOT voices.

   I dunno if I'm loud enough but I need you to pay attension to whats about to happen to me...

   Reminder - Valentine's Day is only a couple weeks away, it's not too late to break up..........

   And some people wonder why their test grades are so low.. Or jobs suck so much.. Well when your names DaWanda IDGAFCHOOCHOOTRAIN Jonez.. On your application...NEXT!

   Practical joke idea: all of us go back to MySpace for one week, get Tom all excited, and then leave again

   Be careful who you call your friends. I'd rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies

   I got a dig bick. You this read wrong. You read that wrong too.

   For guys, Valentines day is yet another lets-give-it-a-shot-at-having-sex-with-her day.

   I can't possibly get eight hours of sleep a day because my work hours add up to seven

   I haven't seen San Francisco fight that hard for something and then lose since Prop 8.

   has no problem GETTING it together, I just can't KEEP it together

   Because of KIAs recent recalls, the Raphamsters change their tune frm, "You can can with THis or you can with that" to "You can recall This, or you can recall That"

   The BIG difference between men and women is that women will complain if they switched genders while men will appreciate the opportunity!

   getting to work on time only makes the day longer