JOser Funny Status Messages

   sick and is therefore listening to The Cure.

   thinks copy & paste is the greatest invention ever thinks copy & paste is the greatest invention ever thinks copy & paste is the greatest...

   put the bom in the bom sha-bom bom, but lays no claim to the ram in the ramalama ding dong.

   What do I mean, "inner geek"? I'm deluding myself -- I'm pretty much geek all the way through.

   With all the disease in this world, I'm just happy I didn't catch "The Stupid", or any other airborne illness like Freckles

   I once went 4 days with out a cell phone. So ya, Third World Countries, I get it now.

   Ok, TV coroners. We get it. You're comfortable around dead bodies. You can stop putting your sandwiches on them.

   Many personality flaws are now treatable mental illnesses... My insurance denied me coverage, apparently being an @sshole is a preexisting condition.

   I mix Corona with water and it gets me drunk... mixed Wine with water and it gets me drunk... I mix Tequila with water and gets me drunk again... therefore I've reached the conclusion that water is bad for me...

   Less work. More aholic.

   it's not illegal it's frowned upon

   Bad news: I burned my finger on the toaster. Good news: 1 down, 9 stupid incriminating fingerprints to go.

   Do it tomorrow. You've made enough mistakes for today.

   Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

   Why is in that in America they make the sick walk all the way to the back of the drugstore to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

   Actual Sign in a bar: "Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."

   A psychiatrist is a highly paid baggage handler.

   I'd consider being a farmer. As long as I could live on the Pepperidge Farm, and raise Milanos.

   When I'm drunk and in the woods, I always have the urge to try to juggle squirrels.

   Sure, I've done bad things in my life. But not "going to hell" bad. More like "Jesus is going to make me his b*tch in heaven" bad.