Snotty Funny Status Messages



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Page: 16 of 159

   messageicon Like my Great Grandmother always used to say,,,, 'Marry someone who will love you for your posts and not your profile banner.'
←Rate | 05-03-2012 15:47 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I already want to take a nap tomorrow
←Rate | 05-03-2012 15:55 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey,,,You knew what you were getting into when you friended me...
←Rate | 05-04-2012 17:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will gather my Grandchildren around for one of my bedtime stories. Like todays story about the "Cinco De Mayo",, a riviting yet sad tale of a ship, laden with mayonaise,,, which sinks off the coast of Mexico.(cue background music, Wreck of the Edmund..)
←Rate | 05-05-2012 08:25 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hmmm,,, Where exactly is this Black Forest,, that's teeming with hams?
←Rate | 05-06-2012 08:11 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Funds are low this year, so the Chex Party Mix I'm bringing to the office Birthday party is just birdseed and expired high blood pressure pills.
←Rate | 05-06-2012 08:14 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never get behind a car with a Phish bumper sticker at the bank drive thru.. They don't have an account & they're about to run out of gas.
←Rate | 05-06-2012 08:18 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey pistachio with the shell welded shut.. I know you've been hurt before, but I just want to love you... Let me in, Baby....
←Rate | 05-06-2012 08:20 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anyone's interested,, I'll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 3 pm on, until I'm removed by security.
←Rate | 05-06-2012 18:59 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I begin all my orders at Arby's by saying,,, "Listen, I've got nothing to prove to you."
←Rate | 05-06-2012 19:01 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure Adam and Eve loved being the first people,, cuz they didn't have to worry about ghosts
←Rate | 05-06-2012 19:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't scream "AHH,, IT BURNS!!" when peeing in public,,, then you're no fun.
←Rate | 05-07-2012 18:33 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon who do these people at Burger King think they are? Dont they know i'm an Ebay power seller,, and have over 70 friends on Facebook??,,,,FOOLS !!
←Rate | 05-08-2012 12:11 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give me a fish,, & I'll cook you dinner.. Teach me to fish,, & I'll just be sitting there in the boat with you and gettin drunk..
←Rate | 05-08-2012 12:16 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the minimum age a person has to be in order to get arrested for vandalism?............... Please tell me the answer is two,,,,,
←Rate | 05-09-2012 07:18 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The inventor of the Hokey Pokey died today. Trying to get him in the coffin was a nightmare... They put the left leg in....................
←Rate | 05-10-2012 08:01 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The police knocked on my door last night and said my dog had chased someone on a bike... I called Bullcr*p..... My dog doesn't have a bike..
←Rate | 05-10-2012 08:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tonight on TV. there's a documentary about white trash.... I only saw the trailer..
←Rate | 05-10-2012 08:08 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear mom,, I hear babies rip your hoo hoo monster and turn it purple... Hope this card makes up for that.
←Rate | 05-10-2012 08:29 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Peanut butter sandwiches taste better when cut in half diagonally...........Listen,, I don't make the rules people.
←Rate | 05-10-2012 08:34 by snotty Comments (0)  




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