Snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon A bird crapped in my hair earlier today,,, in case you were wondering why the birdhouse in my back yard has so many bullet holes in it.
←Rate | 04-28-2012 13:11 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Saw a Vespa crash into a Toyota Prius today...... There was glitter everywhere.
←Rate | 04-28-2012 19:25 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ceiling fan has three settings: -- very slow -- Medium ,, and --I'm about to fly off the ceiling and kill you in a freak ceiling fan accident
←Rate | 04-28-2012 19:40 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes,, I'm just posting for the sake of posting.. I'm sorry that my posts aren't curing cancer like yours are.
←Rate | 04-28-2012 19:48 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If my dad were alive today he would say, "Son,, stop telling people I'm dead".
←Rate | 04-29-2012 16:47 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give a woman a compliment, she'll smile for a day.. Teach a woman to fish for compliments & she'll be annoying for the rest of her life.
←Rate | 04-29-2012 21:07 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm gonna get one of those giant, old-timey bicycles. You know the type, where if you tipped over you fell 20ft. and died..... yeah,,one of those
←Rate | 04-30-2012 15:17 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can tell how well people cut their grass,, by the way they color things in,, on "Draw Something."
←Rate | 04-30-2012 15:20 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes, I hate you,,, but I'm not in hate, with you.
←Rate | 04-30-2012 15:22 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is a FACT: Girls with cats, are WAY more single than girls with dogs.
←Rate | 04-30-2012 15:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon NEWS FLASH: The Bush's baked beans dog finally speaks out, says dogs actually hate Sarah McLachlan.
←Rate | 04-30-2012 15:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just had a cup of coffee "So Bad",, that it actually played bass guitar for Nickleback........... Horrible coffee,,,Yuck,,Ptuuey..
←Rate | 04-30-2012 16:21 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I'm not mad." - My wife when she's mad,,, Well,, actually EVERY woman when she's mad
←Rate | 04-30-2012 16:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife's great-great-grandmother on her mother's side was The Kracken
←Rate | 04-30-2012 20:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you hear "that's illegal in 49 states,"....The other state is ALWAYS Kentucky..
←Rate | 05-01-2012 13:19 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a father to 2 sons & a grandfather to 2 grandsons,, I often find myself torn between.. "Don't ever do that again" and " Ahh,Good one!"
←Rate | 05-01-2012 13:25 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon "It's not you, it's me" - me, explaining "awesome"
←Rate | 05-01-2012 13:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Heard the Kardashians referred to as "American Royalty" on the radio today.....Currently in the bathroom taking an "American Royalty"
←Rate | 05-02-2012 17:59 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon "What did I do?" -- the horse you rode in on.
←Rate | 05-02-2012 18:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you've made it,, when your joke makes its way back to you in someone else's Facebook status
←Rate | 05-02-2012 20:03 by snotty Comments (0)  




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