Moon Funny Status Messages

   What's with all the hearts on Facebook?

   Kit Kat is coming out with a vegan version of their bar and I imagine their theme song will be Break me off a piece of that veggie based bar.

   Cleaned all the spare change out of a old couch I'm about to throw out and think I found just enough to buy a new couch.

   I may be ugly but I'm vaccinated!

   Just got my first shot and going to get another one just as soon as I can get the waitresses attention.

   Believe in yourselves and follow your hearts and you could do and be anyone you want to be, except Keith Richards.

   The way they're sending civilians into space nowadays is one small step for man one impossible leap for anyone who doesn't have a million dollars who'd like to go.

   Well it looks like Richard Branson is going to win the millionaire space race which is one small step for Richard one giant leap before Jeff Bezos.

   There's a fine line between "I've got nothing to do today except look at facebook" and "I've got nothing to do today because I'm looking at facebook"

   If you sit behind me honking your horn for letting a car into traffic I'm going to super polite and wait to let the next five cars to pull out into traffic as well.

   To many environmentally-friendly Facebook philosophers and not enough people willing to bend over to pick up a piece of garbage.

   Been getting a lot of things done lately thanks to a wonderful Facebook feature I love using you could find under settings then scrolling down to where it says log out.

   One good thing about being a Amazon delivery driver is you can impress women by telling them your company provides you with a Mercedes-Benz.

   A termite walks into a bar and asks where's the bar tender?

   Space, the final frontier for William Shatner who's 10-minute mission to seek out stranger new publicity for Jeff Bezoses Space Program. To boldly go where only a few million Tourist have gone before!

   Will never understand people who look both ways before entering the traffic circle?

   I'm so old when I was a kid Facebook didn't have a name and everyone just called it ADD.

   Had 2 activate a old flip phone you have 2 press every letter 3 times 2 form a letter which makes it hard 2 text & it's really slow which makes it hard 2 surf the web & see the news & all I can do is just live in the moment, & this is awesome!

   It's beginning to feel a lot like, I'm gonna start wishing it was summer.

   The problem with daylight savings time is around midnight you start to feel like you're struggling to stay awake before you realize it's only 7:00 p.m.