Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Why is paracetamol white?......... because it works.

   cooking an Indian tonight. It's the best way to get rid of the evidence before he's reported missing

   Training for the next Olympic games

   Only when the last tree has died, the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realize we cannot eat money..!!

   hates men that treat every woman with Bipolar, Stop being an a**hole in a crowd and being nice when you two are alone, just stop being a c*ck and tell her what you really want!"

   Earlier today I saw the facebook group "Kids vs Cancer". It turns out writing "My money is on cancer everytime" is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail.

   Irony Definition: Ryan Dunn dying from that same thing that made him famous.

   Why do American's make lousy dog walkers ? ..... They can't hold on to a Lead !

   So any1 else think our's is the only nation involved every year in a war since inception? Wow! Coincidence? Or blood thirst.?

   Look left ═════> You failed.

   Salt-n-Pepa probably have salt-n-pepa pubes by now.

   just waking up... (yawn) So, did Jesus see his shadow when he came out of the cave?

   99% fat free

   now available in widescreen.

   If you die in a jihad, you get 70 virgins. Unfortunately, they're all Persian.

   Thanks to A.I seeing a baby with a Mullet and a beard seems perfectly normal these days

   I miss the days when getting tested meant you were sleeping around.

   Let the pain and suffraging begin.

   Why, when you suddenly start coughing your head off, do people say "Are you alright?" Hell no I'm not alright! If I was, I wouldn't be coughing like this. Duh.

   I have not seen anyone mad about the mermaid being black . Except the people that want to people mad ... stopped getting Jussie Smolette its all in your mind