Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Steve Bannon removed from National Security Council due to a scheduling conflict involving drinking.

   Surely hope insurance companies start classifying "delusional people who think the President is doing a good job" as a pre-existing condition.

   While their senses don’t work the same as human senses, plants can see, hear, react and think. Which is more then we can say for Congress.

   The Trump administration has removed endangered species protections for parrots. Polly hates a cracker.

   To everyone in the northern hemisphere, I apologize for the odious stenches emanating from my rear end this evening.

   All the abortions the democrats have.. They must be aborting the good looking ones.

   Alternate use for bags - Make democrats fu.ckable

   In the 2020 election, remember... Bernie is with her...

   Hillary and Barry Obama are going to have matching ankle braclets after federal prison.

   Fox News .. we put the @ss in seaxual harassment.

   Donald Trump public ally supports Bill O'Reilly. In other news, dozens of female White House staff change their mind about speaking out against sexual harassment. Kellyanne silently weeps while tiny fingers rub her thigh.

   I'm shocked Barry Manilow announced he's gay. I thought he was dead.

   Kinda odd that Bill Clinton screwed everything but wont do Hillary.

   The only way you tards are gonna push Hillary through now is with a time machine.

   Trump removed abandon from NSC so he can devote more time to his role as the White House liaison with the K K K.

   Unfortunately for The Donald, he can't fake a Foot injury to get out of this war.

   If you think your microwave spying on you is bad… Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.

   Russia doesn't have to do what the UN wants. Not when they have videos of their ugliest call girls peeing on our ugliest President.

   America's enemies must be shaking in fear of this new "All talk, no action" approach to foreign problems. I mean Trump can really, really talk.

   The first rule of rich, powerful, white guy club is we didn't do anything wrong because we are rich, white and powerful.