Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   It's called BE-YOU-tiful, not BE-FAKE-tiful...

   the comfort I get from bringing my own pillow on the plane doesn't quite outweigh the shame of carrying my own pillow thru the airport

   some say that Justin Bieber is the father of Rebecca Blacks baby....but its not true...There is no way 1 girl can impregnate another

   Today I ate a salad and got a ton of sleep. I don't think my body is used to either and may possibly be rejecting both.

   I Guess We All Kno what seat Rebecca Black finally Chose The Backseat Fun Fun Fun Fun

   i wonder if Rebecca Black was singing Friday while she was getting boinked.

   Sometimes I open the fridge and stare at the contents for no reason at all, just like I do with Facebook.

   Folgers coffee ads are ALL WRONG! The best part of waking up is being able roll over and go back to sleep.

   thinks going to Target is like going to Wal Mart, only you feel alot better about yourself inside a Target!!

   Dont ask me to follow you on Twitter if you aren't going anywhere.

   Rebecca Black is pregnant... she should have gotten in the front seat, not the back seat.

   Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to write to myself on my wall.

   Yes your girlfriend is beautiful and I totally dig that you guys just met, BUT, He is my neighbor and works in a drag club.

   Spongebob is Asian. He's yellow, can't drive and does karate.

   can somebody fix my parents...they always say their broke

   okay mother nature, enough with the rain! I get the fact your sad, but you had to realize Joanie and Chachi werent gonna last forever.

   No wonder you're so fat.......you're full of sh*t!

   Facebook doesn't need a "dislike" button what it needs is a " noody effin cares" or get over yourself your really not that special button"

   heads or tails? Heads you give me some tail. Tails you give me some head.

   It's finally cheaper to buy a cup of coffee than a gallon of gas.