Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I have nothing in common with people who replace bread ties.

   People should mute themselves on conference calls when they are crossing a battlefield and killing enemies to get to the next level.

   If you put root beer in a square cup, do you get beer? You smart people just grinned; didn't you?

   The more random people you see jogging for no reason the higher the rent is going up

   There are two kinds of people. The ones that pack six days before a trip, and the ones that wake up day-of and realize they need to do a load of laundry. And they marry each other.

   Finish your plate, there are people starving at Victoria's Secret.

   Rap battles in Canada consist of two people trying to outdo each other with compliments.

   The only people watching your Facebook Live Streaming are your stalkers.

   Drunk Me: "You have absolutely no fashion sense you wear nothing but brown every single day: UPS GUY: "Sir just sign for the package"

   You may have been drunk before, but you haven't been lightsaber fighting in the street at 2 am drunk.

   I don't know about you but people make me want to say bad words.

   Not to brag or anything but once in 2005 for about three months I was the top friend for three different people on MySpace.

   It's amazing how irritating some people can be with only 140 characters on Twitter.

   Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you're up to. :)

   I am very patient with people because I don’t interact with any.

   Some people mow their yard at different angles and it looks really cool. When I do it, my yard just looks like it fell asleep at a frat party.

   Amazing how much technology has advanced with new ways for people to communicate with each other 50 years ago they used to call talking.

   There's probably an employee named Jake who works at State Farm, who's had it with people's jokes and is about to go postal.

   If dinosaurs were still alive, people would do a lot more running.

   Life is like Snapchat. You can call many people your friends, but it doesn't mean, they call you their friends.