Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Some people are training as complainers like it is a competitive sport

   They should make supermarket camouflage so people you know won't see you and want to talk to you.

   People who are about to tell you something then say "never mind" are the reason why I sometimes admire serial killers

   Some people like set an example. I prefer to be a warning.

   people who work at Amazon fulfillment centers should put their job status as "professional boxer"

   When I lay all my cards out on the table, people be like "Damn, where you get all them cards?"

   People in ancient times believed that they were responsible for the changing climate. (human sacrifice to the gods) I’m so glad that we have advanced enough that we don’t believe in that nonsense anymore.

   Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.

   You know what I hate? People who answer their own questions.

   Pro Tip: If you don’t have a mask, wearing a jock strap on your face tends to keep people at least 6 feet away from you.

   Want more people to leave you alone? Announce bid for political office. Walk like Frankenstein if necessary.

   Most people say they are in favor of free speech until you say something they don't like

   Some people choose to be victims in life because it's a lot easier than being a winner.

   The problem with this country is that too many people say they want Justice when they really want Revenge.

   If at any point in your life you feel useless, just remember there are people on the BMW assembly lines that install turn signals..”

   The most misinformed people think they know all the facts.

   As I get older and I remember all the people I've lost along the way I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me

   Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing it.

   Based on the amount of laundry I do, I'm pretty sure there are people living here that I haven't met yet...

   can you believe that 6 months ago we just let random people breathe on us