Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   People keep telling me the right man will come along. I think mine got hit by a truck.

   - I don't need Anger Management, I need for people to not piss me off!!!

   Since I've been out of school, I've been to over 30 weddings. That's like 15 miles of the electric slide, people.

   Sarcasm is the bodys defense to stupid people!

   Martin L King ... Looted nothing, Burned nothing, Attacked .... NO ONE ....... Yet ... CHANGED THE WORLD. Time for people to wake up ..... It's the mind ... Not the emotions that holds the power.

   Has it occurred to ANYONE that if you can organize that many people to protest, you can organize that many people to clean up you community and get rid of the criminal element causing the problem? Where's that rally?

   It must be awkward when GPS tells gay people to go straight

   If intelligent people don't start procreating faster than the trash in “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” we're all heading towards a very dismal future. Am I the only one seeing this?

   Ironically, the kind of people who queue all night to buy an iPhone 5 have very few friends to call when they get it.

   I wish people would consult me before trying to insult me, because I could help them come up with a much better one.

   Remember before the internet when people ate food and didn't need to tell everyone about it?

   Some people will "LIKE" whatever you post on your wall....and it's probably not because they like or understand it ... but it is because "YOU" posted it.

   I think it's adorable when people assume I'm interested in anything they have to say before I've had my coffee.

   Why people stopped wearing swords everywhere is beyond me?

   If my cats have taught me anything, its how to ignore people.

   You know you are old when people keep telling you how young you look.

   People always get so excited about the next generation iPhone but no one has caught up with the awesome technology that's called a Turn Signal.

   People say Cookie Monster sets a bad example and contributes to childhood obesity. Cookie Monster says people need to stop using cookie loving puppet as excuse for bad parenting.

   In what world does a box of macaroni and cheese serve 4 people?

   I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems