Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   And it's "hear", not "here". You maggot idiot. F*ck you people are so stupid

   Hey moron! If you're going to insult me, next time say it to my face. And do it in person?

   Nah I'm going to let you guys figure that out for yourselves since you all seem like smart people. I'll be waiting so come and get me pussies!

   Coors Light is like making love in a canoe. It's f--k-ng close to water.

   Boss: Starting pay is $11.59 but after 6 months it goes up to $18.40. When do you want to start? Me: In 6 months.

   Good night haters!!!!!

   Your home address. Not the address where you give out government assisted blow jobs. Poosy.

   Members of Generation X have no definable traits other than being responsible for breeding the misguided Generation Z whackoffs.

   Look in the mirror. Urghhhh!!!

   You give up or are you thirsty for more?

   I can't wait to retire so I can get up at 6 and go drive around really slowly and make everyone late for work.

   Jealousy is a terrible disease, Gary. Get well soon.

   If you perform in a guy and a gal musical duo, and you play to the Monday thru Thursday dinner crowd at a volume level where you can hear a pin drop... your career has epically failed.

   Schifoso cat bastidz.

   Just saw your picture on social media, and you look like a “before” picture.

   Fact of life: The older you get, the more risky a sneeze becomes.

   Welcome incognito GaryKoenig.

   "You people are so stupid." ~ D. Trump

   Em htiw ssem ot seirt ereh no esle enoyna ro uoy fi neppah ot gniog si tahw s'taht esuaC. sregnarts etelpmomc tuoba parc gniklat rof uoy fo tuo dekcik parc eht nettog reve uoy evaH !ztangI yeH

   You want my address? Here it is! 1781 Zumbehl Road St Charles Missouri!